We drift through our curved tendencies
of a relationship
One day its course veering to a familiar, safe place
where we affirm one another with our words
And the gentle gaze that lingers a question;
Does he still?
Other days, I am in fear of our relationship
Like the thing itself, a black haze, is out to get me until I am full of questions without answers.
My nails hurt from the pang of clutching on, I have been on the precipice for some time.
I could lay a white thick film over you, and begin again
memories fade into distant patches, but they do not disappear.
You cannot disappear
Smearing you white, removal, cutting out- no.
And so, I prepare myself for the light and dark curves within our relationship
The good is so sweet, so belonging, so present
Whilst the bad, is myself seeking beyond what is; the remnants of desire.
You are constant and my intermittent worries will cease because time yields the anew. I love you, but it will transform and I will not exist on the precipice.
And you too will see that my love was not a selfish love
I loved you in spite of suffering.
A beginning can occur at any point of consciousness, anew is a choice.
Choice is constant.